a season.....

I have a few days this weekend that reminded me of what life used to be..
a day with my girls at a fieldtrip...
I walked with my girls,
spent time with a fellow mom/friend...
had taken the day off work, and had no other worries..

This was what my life used to look like.

In my past I took this for granted...
In my present I appreciatte every moment!

I wonder if my heart will ever stop longing for what was,
when it comes to my children?
what is, is really not that bad!
They are happy enough in their schools...
I am with them every night....
I pick them up after school, something I know I am blessed to do..

and yet, I still remember what it was to wake with them...
and have the day....
the whole day to fill with our thoughts and books and dreams and games....

In many ways its bigger then a change of 'jobs'..
its watching them grow, and watching them change..
and knowing wether I am home with them as I was...
or away during the days as I am...
this season is passing!
and I am not sure I am ready to let go!