Thursday, January 14, 2010


it must happen!
in some form..
I am learning that reconciliation means many things!
Sometimes it means taking another chance at what was,
and starting over!
and Sometimes it means accepting what is
and starting fresh!
But always it is reconciling something
that is not as it was!

The more I accept
how things have changed,
the more reconciled my life has become!
its not all about the loss of relationship,
its about the loss of dreams!

for me it was greatly about the kids..
what I wanted
versus what is...
not really a right or a wrong..
but just different!
the more I reconcile my parenting style and expectations
with what is now;
and the less I dwell on what I thought it should be!

there is also a reconciling that hopefully happens in time
with the people who ended their marriage..
its not a re commitment,
but its a starting over!
and clearing the air..
and accepting who we are now..
and maybe even who we always were!
I know that it does not happen for everyone..
but I wish it would!
because while divorce is fraught with jagged corners,
there is something very healing about connecting
on a different level with the one you used to love.
finding a way..
to meet in the middle..
(or even just agree to visit the middle once in a while)
is a huge part of the path to a peaceful future,
after a tumultuous ending!

looking at the kids,
and seeing them in their reality..
with their new understanding, hurts and acceptance...
and knowing they are growing and learning..
and these experiences are all part of who they are NOW,
allows you to accept them for where they are!

letting go is many layers deep..
it involves the whole family..
and it brings about freedom for all...
and joy in the present when it actually happens!


  1. Perfectly said! Nice to meet you, Debbie. Your family is beautiful. I will add you to my reader to I remember to follow you!


  2. Thank you Amy..really enjoyed your blog!!

  3. You have come so far and you seem really at peace with things as they are.
    I am happy for you