Saturday, January 30, 2010

the moment before the dark...

there was a time
that the worst moment of my day,
was the moment that happened
right before sleep!
That moment when the light goes out,
and for a minute I am aware
of the dark
and my alone-ness.

I for many months
watched TV until I fell asleep!
and left the TV on all night..
then when I moved
and actually started sleeping in a room,
not on a couch..
I would read (I still do!)
until my eyes could not hold themselves open any longer!
so the moment was just that..
a minute before nodding off!

I noticed not so long ago...
that the moment I dreaded
had become one of my favorite moments of the day!
The moment when my eyes are tired!
the lights go out..
and I sigh
and snuggle into the blankets
knowing rest is soon to come!
It does not feel so dark,
nor does it feeling lonely!

It happened when I was not looking,
I stopped being afraid of the dark...
and more importantly, I stopped fearing facing the dark alone!


  1. You slept on the couch too and with the TV on! I did that too. Are these common among divorced women. lol. Anyway I was not afraid to be alone, becos I was for a long time. It was becos I did not want the day to end. hmmm.

  2. I did not want to be alone at night! Funny how a BOX can seem so comforting!! :)

  3. I think we have all had those moments at one time or another... thankfully for all of us they pass. Great post :0)

  4. This is a great post! When my husband was really sick and in the hospital for a month, I too slept with the tv on as a way to keep me company. But my tv is in the bedroom. I would have the weirdest dreams that turns out, involved what was on the tv that night.

  5. "I for many months
    watched TV until I fell asleep!
    and left the TV on all night"

    This reminds me of falling asleep and waking up in the middle of the night with some strange desire to buy various products from info commercials.

    Kindest regards,
    Tom Bailey

  6. all the best things happen when we are not looking!

  7. It really is common knowledge that we will take information into our subconscious. It really isn't advisable to fall asleep with the TV on as we have no control over what we hear or learn.

    Good post Debbie. I too love that moment when the writing on the page becomes fuzzy, we close the book, switch off the lights and snuggle down under the duvet! Perfect!

  8. Great post Debbie! I'm happy you found your comfortable place- even while alone. Alone doesn't have to be lonely.

  9. I loved this and can totally relate. Nothing better than when you can be OK when you are alone. Thanks for coming and leaving the incredibly nice comment on my recent post.