Sunday, March 22, 2009

the good, the bad...and the uh-oh!

The good this weekend has been time with friends...
Daddies weekend..
and I enjoy the friendships
some old , some new
that become priority when I have the time....

the bad....
sometimes the aloneness..
the time to think!
I am fine at home...alone
I am fine with friends...
but in a crowd
or in a car....
I feel sad!
I feel a contemplative heaviness
and a heart that feels to big for my body..
And when I have time to just think..
I reflect and ponder
on sometimes nothing at all
and yet something in my heart is just not right....

the uh-oh...
I spent my alone time at the mall!
Fortunatly, I can do not do much damage
and the children are now a few pairs of shorts richer
BUT I can see how easy it would be
to loose yourself
in the temporary moment...
I am learning my weakness
in those low moments...
some it might be men,
some wine,
some food...
me...
well, its the mall...:)
BUT, I overcame it to most degrees

and now the weekend is over.
real life begins...
and the time to hurt and reflect
will now be put on hold
as the buisness of being a mom
takes top billing....

6 comments:

  1. yep- you survived so that is the main thing- i call it the 'maul' becasue thats what it does to your purse and self esteem.
    it gets easier being single, it really does.
    Lisa xx

    ReplyDelete
  2. lol, I was about to email you and ask what you did today! Now I know!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Good girl! You OVERCAME!!!! Feels good, doesn't it?

    ReplyDelete
  4. The crazy thing Debbie is that pretty soon, the alone times won't feel so alone. Hang in there - you're gonna be just fine!

    ReplyDelete
  5. You survived and made it through to the other side. That's something to feel good about.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I had this problem big time at first. It has gotten better and better. Sometimes the alone time feels lonely, but mostly it is pretty nice!

    ReplyDelete