in or out of control.....

My life has felt a little out of control lately..
mostly a small thing..
OK a big thing:)
HUGE car trouble..
which resulted in NO car!
and I was starting to spin..
and life began to come at me too quickly..
and I began to feel a victim of my circumstances.

When that happens I fall to old patterns..
I tend to not like conflict,
I tend to run from confrontation,
I tend to feel I have to when some one suggests I should...
and then I drown in my own insecurities!
I have been working on this,
doing so much better,
until I wasn't!

However,
after some wise counsel
I was able to stop!
Look at my circumstances!
Understand I was not controlled by them.
they are inconvenient..
but they are not debilitating!
They will irritate me
but not kill me!
then I had to look at my solutions
and decide,
which solution did I choose.
and if I choose that,
how do I choose to go about it..
and once again...
I was FREE!
I was astounded at how quickly I became entrapped by my fear,
but deeply relieved that I could shed it, discard it and move on from it!
Still no car..
but, I have my strength, my power and most of all my faith!
more then enough...