Tuesday, September 7, 2010
In my garden,
now sits a bench!
This bench sat in my parents garden
4 years ago!
My marriage had just ended,
my heart broken..
my life in shatters,
but my hope was intact!
I sat on this bench with my children,
I laughed and posed.
Life was sad..
but the future would be the key!
I believed that all I needed,
was to find some one who loved me,
that every thing would be OK!
I was wrong..
It was not!
Tonight as I sat on this bench.. I wept!
Because now its so much harder!
Because now fun and fancy free, merry go rounds
feel like tornadoes and hurricanes,
threatening to tear me apart!
Because I cannot go back!
I cannot become the person I was,
before I met evil face to face!
Because where innocence and excitement
used to live,
now resides fear and suspicion!
Because now I can over come!
But, then I did not need to!
I felt anger,
for a man
who in his deception
stole my ability
to feel safe in this world!
A man who saw a heart broken woman,
and set out to own her soul..
Tonight...I let go!
I cannot turn back time!
I cannot easily forget!
I cannot pretend that I do not see shadows
where fairies and angels used to play...
But, I can accept
that my fears and my reality are different!
I can accept that hurt will govern my footsteps,
until I stop allowing it too..
Tonight...I took a breath!