Monday, April 19, 2010

RUNNING..towards..or away?






I run.
Not because I can..
But, instead because I can't!

I am not a very good runner,
in fact I am pretty lousy at it.
I find it hard.
I find it hot.
and it hurts.

I do not run to be an amazing athlete.
But, I run with passion,
and with purpose.

I run because
every time I run;
reminds me
of what I have run from,
run through,
and run towards.

At 32 years old I had never run EVER.
If you asked me why?
I would tell you that I could not.
I liked to work out..
I enjoyed the gym..
loved to walk,
and do machines..
But, run?
I just could not!
It hurt my throat,
It hurt to breathe,
It hurt my chest...
Not my thing.

However,
In August 2005 I was at the beach
with my parents and children.
My life was falling apart.
My marriage looked to be over,
despite my fighting with all I had.
I was at the beach to recoup some energy,
in order to go back home and face
what looked to be an inevitable
and very destructive storm.

As I walked the beach one night,
my life felt out of control.
decisions were made without me,
that were affecting the immediate present,
they were changing the rest of my life..
and even forever affecting my perception of the past.
Nothing was left untouched!
And, there was nothing I could do.

I knew I could not do this.
I knew I needed something
to help me feel in control.
I needed to do something
I could not do
and succeed.
and so I ran!...

3 minutes and I was winded
...

5 months later I ran a 5k.
Just 3 miles..But huge in so many ways.
as I ran that race..
each mile represented something I had over come..
and by the last mile..
as I drew near the finish line;
I knew I would be OK.

I am running again..
its been a while.
But, every day my running
reminds me of my life..
It gives me peace in the present,
comfort in the past..
and hope for the future!

some days it takes
everything I have
to reach my goal.
when I get there I am reminded
that if I stick with it
I will eventually make
it to the finish line.
some days I reach my goal
and push through...
This reminds me that
I can achieve more then I expect.
And some days I never make it
as far as putting on my shoes.
These days I am reminded
that some days
it takes all we have
just to walk..

but, theres always tomorrow..
and the shoes will be there waiting!

12 comments:

  1. Good for you! I always say that I don't run unless I'm being chased. I have actually worried that if I were being chased I wouldn't be able to run to get away.

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  2. So cool! I love the way you talked about running the 5k. That each mile represented something you over come. As I am working out, it gives me strength! It makes me feel like I can do anything. If I Can work through this.. I am strong. I am more then just a mom.. I am a strong person! :)

    Keep running!

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  3. Marvelous post Debbie! Life is so like that. And all of it takes effort...real effort. There are good days and mediocre days and of course days we would rather skip. But all are important for our growth!
    Well said!
    Hugs
    SueAnn

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  4. Lovely sentiments. Keep on running

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  5. From time to time I have toyed with the idea of running, although I feel a little old to be taking that up. I walk a lot, but only a couple of minutes into a run and I'm winded and sore.

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  6. Thats brilliant that you managed to get running. Starting off with a little and then building up to more.
    Life is like that too. We don't know what we can do until we try.

    Nuts in May

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  7. Love that you found something to help you with your stress. Keep up the good work!

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  8. Tiffany- ha ha ha!:)

    Brittany-exactly

    Sue ann- thanks for the encouragement..as always!

    kkrige- thank you!

    secret agent woman- been there,done that!

    Ron in Florida- thanks for stopping by

    Maggie May- so true.

    mama has spoken- thank you. it is a great stress relief.

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  9. Wonderful post! I too love to run. And cycle. Channeling pent up energy and frustration into the repetitive machinery of the body moving forward - it's unreal.

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  10. This is so my story! Every last bit. I signed up for a 1/2 marathon this summer and every day my lungs and hip remind me that I am not a runner.

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  11. You go girl! What a great post!
    Happy Friday Follow! So glad I found your blog.
    :) jen

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