I have read many self-help books
about recovering from divorce...
and not repeating mistakes!
Many suggest friendships
with the opposite sex..
the premise being;
you come to know how to relate..
without all the confines and pressures
that a romance brings.
In addition men give woman different insight
and visa versa..
I have not had male friends since high school!
a few mutual friends of my ex husbands
during our marriaige..
and I consider the husbands of some
of my good friends, my friends too...
But, not chat and relate and even hang out friends.
so the idea is great...
but where do you start
There are two types of men.
single men are not that interested in friendship,
at least not when they are
approaching me for a date, it seems.
theres a whole other issue.
because naturally there are boundaries
and me being single
causes natural insecurities
no matter how light
or surface the friendship might be.
So,wheres a girl to go to make male friends..
and is that an oxy-moron?
Some people say it is.
But, it matters to me
because I am just not ready for romance.
and while I am told
I will know when I am ready
I am pretty sure
I will fight it pretty hard.
But, what I want
is to learn and understand from men..
that are not wanting something from me,
or hiding something from me.
I would like to learn
who I relate too..
who I do not.
I would like to learn to speak my mind,
in positive ways with men,
something I struggled with in relationships..
within the safe confines of friendship.
I would like male friends.
I see the benefits..
I want the insight..
I want the experience...
but, I seem to be limited
in my choices
who will be just my friend..
or can be my friend..
or even should, I guess.
Is it true?
can men and woman just not be friends?