Friday, April 16, 2010

the plateau

it always amazes me
that my emtions can run on high..
my enery at full throttle;
I go through the week
feeling the injustices of the world,
railing against being misunderstood,
fearful of finances,
frustrated that my working out
seems to be paying off in
I.O.U's rather then dividends,
excited about achievements the children share,
exhausted by behavior that seems to have no cure,
energetic about my job and working to my best potential...
I work,
I play,
I share,
I live.
All to my highest capacity!

And then,
seemingly from no-where..
whether its mommyhood
or single hood
or life..
It's done,
I am done.
Just done..
All of a sudden I am too tired..
too tired to care what someone else thinks..
to tired to worry about that pesky electric bill..
to tired to engage over the 'sassy' battle...
to tired to wonder if I will ever feel less guarded then I feel now...
to tired to be excited about the new life and happenings around me...

Just like that.
I have hit a plateau.
I do not want to fight.
or try.
or overcome.
or play the game.
or better yet try and understand it.
I don't want to..well...
I just don't want to.

Today I must just be...
and allow my body
and mind
the time to catch up
to the emotions
that race at will
and exhaust my every cell.
I must relax
as activity and moving
are part of who I am,
and part of what I must do
to survive and provide.
Today I must settle..
to allow the week to end,
and to have the energy to welcome in a new one,
and then to do this ALL over again
next week.


  1. I feel the exact same way after this week. Being a single mom is so tough. Its hard to juggle it all. I have neve been so happy to finally reach a friday. :)

    I hope you get a much needed rest, sweetie!

    Happy Friday!

  2. Pour yourself a glass of wine, stop and look out at your life with your eyes closed

  3. A new follower from Friday Follow. Hope you can come by and follow back, have a good weekend!

  4. Enjoy your weekend, you have beautiful kids and I know how hard you work to provide for them and make them happy.....sounds like you are doing a great job........:-) Hugs

  5. Debbie, and I thought I was alone on this. I am afraid sometimes I wonder why was I being so irresponsible. Why nothing seems to excite me or push me forward. I would just sit and do nothing, like all energies drained out of me. And then I will start the engine running again. I'm giving you ((hug)), I need one too :)
    Have a restful and blessed weekend with the kids.

  6. You know...... this is exactly how I feel. Just keep chugging along and things will even out again.
    I think you are doing a great job of bringing up your children..... but it does take energy.

    Nuts in May

  7. I know exactly how you feel! To reach the end of what one can do! Sometimes I just can't write the check or make the appointment or bag up the trash. I just can't! Other days, none of these tasks are big deals. WTH?? What's up with that? I'm just saying....!
    Hugs and have a glass of wine with me

  8. A delightful post to read Debbie, thank you. Blessings.

  9. Hi..I’m Barb from Fri. Follow. I am your newest follower. I hope you will get a chance to visit my blog @
    & get inspired by something for your family/home. I hope you will follow me as well.

  10. It all started to click for me when I DECIDED I wouldn't worry about all those things instead of waiting for the shutdown of my body/mind/spirit to force me to.

    Consciously decide...all will be as it shall be

    and it will!


  11. To answer your question about the Digital Scrapbook Artist 2 program, I really am not sure if you can order a scrapbook of the pages you create. I've just printed them and put them in a photo album. Check out to see if you can find something I may have missed. That's where you can upload your pictures too. Sorry I don't have a for sure answer for you.